Tuesday, May 17, 2022
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How to survive loneliness ?

So, your relationship status got from the “in a relationship” to “single”. Sometimes it can be very difficult to accept that your relationship did not work out. It is the worst feeling of failure. But, things will get better.

In meanwhile you will have to cope with a feeling that you are alone now. The best thing you can do at this moment is to accept it and embrace it. Everybody has good and bad moments in life. Don’t dwell on it for too long.

It will just get you depressed. If it was meant to be it would last longer. Regardless of the reason for the break-up, it will heal. Somewhere in the future, it will be a distant memory. And it won’t hurt anymore.

I can assure you that. It will get better and you will smile and laugh again. Remember the worst moment in your life. You know how painful it was at that time. But now, you accepted it as part of your past and you are living with it.

I am not saying it is not hurt, but it will hurt less. And you will be able to move on with your life with someone else. The best idea is to spend some time alone.

Learn about yourself. Learn how you function all alone. If someone would ask you to write 10 things unique to you, what would you write? Work on those 10 things. It will make you feel better about yourself.

What now?

sad-woman-lonelyness

You broke up, and you are heartbroken. First of all, give yourself some time to grieve and to be sad. If you feel like crying, cry.

If you feel like screaming, go somewhere and scream. Don’t allow your negative emotions to accumulate.

Result of that will be deep depression and you will end up in the loop you won’t be able to get out.

So, do what your heart tells you. Follow it. You will feel better and you will get negative emotions out. And that is very important.

Also, you know it it is in your best interest to get out of it stronger. More capable and with more self-esteem than ever.

First of all, set some goals. What do you want to change in current life?

If you don’t like your hair, change it. If you want to do some crazy manicure do it. There is nothing stopping you. You will feel better and your self-esteem will grow.

Do you want to quit smoking? Now is the time. Do you want to learn some foreign language? Of course, you can. It will get your mind off things and you will feel better since you won’t have time to dwell on the past.

Do whatever makes you happy. You will need as much positivity as you can create. It will help you out through bad days. There will be bad days, and you have to accept it. Sometimes you will cry yourself to sleep.

Sometimes you will feel very lonely. But that is all part of the process of healing and “getting over” your past relationship.

Don’t contact your ex

If you will feel like you are going to achieve something by calling him or her, you won’t. You will get stuck somewhere in the middle.

You won’t be able to go forward, and you can’t go backward either. It is a bad situation for you. Delete your ex number and social media accounts. Away from the eyes, away from the heart. It will help you get better and heal.

woman-holding-heart

I won’t tell you it is going to be easy, it will not. But it will for sure make things a bit easier if you are not watching him on old pictures. You will get tempted, that is for sure. But in those moments, call your friends instead of him or her.

Same thing when he is calling you. Don’t answer, you need your peace and some time alone to heal your heart. In the case that you did not resolve everything, give yourself some time. Don’t rush in his or her arms.

Remember the reason why you broke up with him or her in the first place. It will be a bit of a cold shower, but only that way you will understand that it is not a good idea.

Also, don’t send him or her angry letters and insults. It will make the matter worse and you won’t gain anything.

Let some time pass, and you will get an objective picture of what happened with you two. And most important you will see what were mistakes in your relationship.

You will bump into each other at some point in your life, and you have to be ready and healed. You would not want to open old wounds in a bad way.

Your goal should be, to be able to talk with your ex-partner without crying later. Or without falling into his embrace.

lonelyness-woman-and-man

It is over and you have to accept it. Set some boundaries in your head. You don’t want to lock yourself in the past.

You want to be ready for the future and for everything good and bad what will that future bring.

Fulfill your free time

You are looking at the book on the shelf for the last few months and you never got a chance to read it? Now it is the time. Occupy your brain.

Do whatever makes you fulfilled. Try new recipes. Learn something new. Spend some time on fresh air. Go to the mountains, go to the lake.

calm-woman-relax

Try to find some inner peace in a chaotic situation. If you have a chance, travel somewhere. Seeing new cultures and new people will make you heal faster. See some old friends, relatives you did not see for a long time.

I am sure they will be happy to see you and you will have some fun time together. Make your days cheerful. Go to the club, go to the bar with friends.

If you are single now, that does not mean that your life has stopped. That also has some advances. You will be able to talk with whomever you will want without someone looking at you jealously. Dance the night away.

When was the last time you danced? When was the last time you had a bottle of wine with your friends? I bet it was a while back. Go on some beach with friends, share a bottle of wine and some laughs. It will relax you a little bit, and you will feel happier.

happy-woman-listening-song

Time will pass quicker and new memories will replace old ones. And more memories you create, it will be easier to let go eventually.

One day you will wake up and realize how much time has passed. And how your life is different from the one you use to have. You have to work on it.

To make the best of this life. Not to cry away your days. Rather spend your days smiling and laughing with friends. I know it seems impossible now, but if you try, you will see how the flow will carry you away.

Start to meditate

meditation

Visualize your goal in life. You have to know where you would want to be in couple of years. Who would be your friends, what will your life look like? If you can see it, you can make it true.

So, make a clear picture in your head what do you want to do and where do you want to live. That goal and that picture will help you focus on your well-being and the right things in life. Love will come as well, but give it some time, don’t force anything.

If you force it you will never find your inner peace. It is a harsh world, you need to know your goals and your expectations. It will also make you heal your broken heart. Your focus will be on other things. Not on the relationship which did not work out.

calm-and-relax-woman

Try to give yourself 30 minutes a day to meditate with happy thoughts and a happy future. That will also make you grow as a person. You will feel better about yourself and about your current situation.

I know you will say that you don’t have the time. But it is 30 minutes of your day. Put the phone away for those 30 minutes.

Spend that time in your own peace and quiet. Put some meditation music. And let everything go. Your broken relationship, your broken dreams with your ex. Replace those broken dreams with new ones.

The ones that will matter in your future. Ones that will mold you as a better person. More you visualize it, it will be closer to you. And if you want a happy future you have to change everything that was making you unhappy. Replace bad things with good things. Bad memories with good memories.

Learn from it

What did your ex-relationship teach you? Try to answer to that question.

move-on-happy-woman

Be honest with yourself. What kind of a partner were you and how did you treat your partner? What will you change in the future? What kind of partner would you like to have?

What kind of a person do you see yourself grow old with? Use the knowledge you have and make it better.

Work on the things you feel need some change. Change your environment. Meet some new people. Make yourself useful to yourself. Try to make the best of it. Don’t blame yourself. It is nobody’s fault.

Sometimes all our efforts are not enough to succeed. In some case, we just have overgrown the relationship we are in. Our goals became different from our partner’s goals. And that is fine. We are different people now, from the people we were 10 years ago.  That is normal.

It is important to learn from our ways and the ways of our partner. For better future relationships. For better self-esteem.

Do not live in the past. Try to embrace the best parts of your ex-relationship, and forget the worst. At the end of the day, you want to be the person who remembers only happy days and who is positive.

Nobody likes negative people.

Move on

success-path
a country road in autumn

You will feel when it is the right time. When that time comes, you will need to allow you to move on. Your past relationship is past. You have to focus on the future.

You will be in love again with someone else. Whatever mistakes you made in your past relationship have to stay there. With a new person, you will get a chance to fix those mistakes.

If you were too jealous, don’t repeat it.

Everything starts with trust. Show that person you trust him and your past relationship did not influence you in a negative way.

Allow yourself to be in love again. If one relationship did not work out, that doesn’t mean that other ones won’t. As long as we are alive and kicking there is hope. And where is the will there is the way.

Don’t rush into a relationship with someone because you feel alone. Do it because you want it. Do it because you feel connected with that person.

Do it because you feel butterflies and that person is making you feel good. Do it because it is going to make you a better person.

In the end…

It is not the most important thing in the world to be with someone. It is most important that you love yourself the way you are. That you are accepting you as you are.

love youself

You are working on yourself and you are a happy person. That is what matters. Better to be alone and take the best of life than be with someone and miserable.

Everybody needs some time alone sometimes. It is good to take a pause in life. You will value the relationship more. And the right person for you will come.

Give it some time. When you will least expect it, it will happen. Love always strikes when we don’t expect it. That is the magic of it.

There is enough of love in this world for everybody. Let it in your heart when you feel it. 

Anamarija Jesenovic
Anamarija Jesenovic
I am a passionate 31 years old single mum. Artist, writer, and magician of life itself. I am a very positive and outgoing person with great plans for the future. I speak 4 languages, I proofread, I write short stories, articles and paint in free time. I enjoy life in the fullest. I would like my readers to find themselves in my stories and articles, maybe find a piece of advice or two. If I changed one person’s life, I have changed the entire world.
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