Often parenting is a very stressful task. We come across problems that we did not even think that will ever exist in our lives. From dealing with a child’s fears to explaining how children are born to the two-year-old. Answers are simple, they need a little bit of creativity. Children can sometimes be very draining. By the end of the day, you will feel exhausted. Most of the days you will feel like someone has sucked your all life energy. But, being a parent is also the most rewarding job in the world. Of course, you don’t get paid in money, but with kisses and hugs. Sometimes they will show you their support when you will need it the most. And they will be very happy to make you smile on your bad days. And they will also show you how mature they are when the time for that comes.
How Children are Born?
By the age of three, most of the children ask their parents, where the children come from? As the tale with the stalk is a little old fashion, a different approach is what you need. The best thing you can do is trying to explain to the child that the mom and the dad love each other.
From that love, a child is born. That way children will know that it takes two for bringing a child into the world. They will also know that love has to exist, as well as a mutual bond. It is good to have a more natural approach to the children. They are very fragile and complicated things are confusing them.
You can show your child a picture of your pregnancy. So that child sees she or he was in their mother’s stomach. That will also be self-explanatory why some women have a huge stomach. Children see the world in a very simple manner. Simpler is the explanation, they will get it much more clear.
Don’t get into messy and complicated stories of how children come to this world. It is very difficult to explain to a small child how children are born. So make a simple story. Don’t over exaggerate. Keep your story clean, simple, and easy to remember as the child will ask you again. It is in everybody’s best interest that you tell the same story.
You can even draw a short story and put it on the fridge. Your child will look at the picture and he will remember the story you told them. That also increases memory so the child can tell after a few weeks exactly what you explained to him.
Aggression is giving Birth to more Aggression
If a child does something wrong, per se brakes an expensive vase, try to stay calm. If you will yell at the child, he will develop a bad habit of yelling as well. Try to stay calm and explain the child to be more careful next time.
Children are reflections of their parents. If parents are showing aggression. That means that children will be aggressive as well. Do not accuse the child before you ask him what happened. That will show him that you don’t have enough trust. Children need to know that you trust them, regardless of everything.
There will be situations where it would be easiest to scream at the child and ground him. But, put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel in that case? Many times that would be the simplest solution. Try to look from a child’s perspective. That will ease up things a little.
Children are simple and they need a simple approach as well. Don’t over complicate things, you will make them confused. If you ground them, ask them if they understand why you are grounding them. If they don’t, try to explain to them in simple language what they did wrong.
At the age of three, most of the children tend to start lying. They can make simple lies, but also very complicated. They are testing their environment and boundaries grownups will have on them. Explain to them are consequences of a lie.
Show them that you trust them and you believed in their lie and now you are both in trouble. It will take a lot of patience, but don’t show them aggression as they will get aggressive as well. That will be a bad situation. Try to stay calm. It will help you in the long run.
Give them Creativity
Childhood is a time when imagination is getting born. At that time you must give them space to develop. Give them a chance to have imaginary friends. If the child wants to introduce you to their imaginary friends, be polite. It is a good pretending game, and they will also build a bond between you two. They will show that they have trust in you and you can reach them without difficulties later on in their life.
Paint with them, even if you are bad in that field. Children don’t care how good of an artist you are. They want to spend time with you. So, give them that precious time.
Finger paint, make a cake, play with dolls or cars. Help them develop the world of fantasy. They will need it as they get older.
They will also develop self-esteem, knowing that they can draw or make something. Make your DIY project. Something that will both make very proud.
All that creativity must get directed in the right way. As they get to the teenage years, they will spend their time in different activities. Rather than spending time in a bad company that can take them on the wrong path.
If children show some interest in music or dancing, try to get them to some classes. If you dance or play something tutor them. Give them a space to develop in activities they like. Maybe in them sits a little Mozart or Bruce Lee. The only way to find out is to let them develop in the right direction.
Involve them in Chores
There is nothing wrong with getting a child involved in chores around the house. Of course, it has to stay simple. But something like cleaning the dust of coffee table, or TV table, as they get older even vacuuming. That will teach them that they have to work if they want to have their home organized.
You can also give them “raise” on allowance if they do an extraordinary job. That will teach them that they will have to work to get money. Nothing falls from the sky. If you have pets, let the child feed that pet every day.
If you have a small dog, allow the child to take the dog on the leash for a while. Let them grow important in your family. They have to feel equal. That way they will also develop a sense for the family, and that everybody has to do their fair share. That is the only way that the family can function.
If someone is not doing their part, the whole chain of unity falls apart. They will notice how fast that happens. Show them for example. If they let the dog go hungry, he will start to chew on their shoes. They will lose the shoes, and the allowance money because they didn’t feed the dog.
Be creative, if you tell them everything on the example they will understand it better.
Leave the Phone at Peace
This is something we hear every day but rarely think about it. Imagine what quality time you can spend with children instead of the phone. It can be sometimes very hard to leave the phone in peace with so many interesting things. But, think of it this way.
Your children will grow up, and that time will never come back. On the phone you can always return, but every day you don’t spend with your child is a day that will never return. You can do it with them so much. From simple talks, to board games, drawing even to watch a movie together is sometimes a good activity.
Especially on rainy days when you can’t go outside. Show them your love and support. That will make them better people as they grow up. Take a child for the ice cream. It is a simple task, but they see the world as a very simple place, and they enjoy simple things. Who knows, that ice cream will be something that they will remember for the rest of their days.
Try to remember, when you were children, what you did. For sure you remember the quality time spent with your loved ones. Simple things always make good memories. The smell of your favorite cake, the flavor of favorite ice cream, breeze in the summer mornings. Those things make good memories.
Let children develop in the right way, and leave your phone at peace. At least when you are trying to spend some quality time with your children.
Don’t lose control over your Emotions
We all have bad days sometimes. We are humans with emotions and sometimes we are sad, we want to cry, and that is fine. But, there also have to be some boundaries between what you can show to your child and what not.
Children must see that there is nothing bad in crying if you are sad, or laughing if you are happy. But, if you lose control over your emotions and begin to be hysterical or depressed. That will have a bad impact on the children. They will get stressed out over your problems. It will make them sad. Instead of a happy child, you will end up having a depressed child.
Emotional stability is very important. If you are stable, your child can lean on you at any time. He will know that you will be able to handle every problem that he has. But if he sees you depressed or in tears all the time, he will want to deal with his emotions alone. And that is not a good thing.
Children need guidance for emotions that they are living through. As a parent it is also important to be emotionally stable. Having a child to take care of is a great deal of responsibility. For that you also need to stay healthy and stable.
If you see that you are overloading with problems, and you don’t see any solution, seek help. Even if you tell your friend what is bothering you will be helpful. There are many sites online that are offering help trough talk.
Sometimes it seems like a better idea to tell what is on your mind. But, the most important part is, that you stay healthy. If you are bad, for sure your child is going to be bad as well. If you want to help them outgrowing healthy, you have to know how to help yourself in the first place.
So, don’t feel the shame if something goes wrong. We are all humans and we do mistakes. Allow yourself to do mistakes. But also try to fix them and learn from them. If you learn from your mistakes you are becoming a quality person.
Don’t Buy Children
We all have been there. We see a neat toy and we want to buy it. But ask yourself at that moment one thing. Am I buying this for a child in me or my child? Sometimes we are buying toys for us, and we are not even aware of what we are doing.
We have to also know the reason why are we buying a new toy. Because of the guilt of not spending enough time with him? Is it a reward for good behavior or a nice gesture. Think and then if you think that your child needs a new toy, go ahead. But don’t buy toys because you want to make up for the time you are not spending with your child.
You can’t buy children. They will remember the nice times they have spent with you, and the material things they will forget. Try to remember when you were a child what you would appreciate more. A toy or a nice afternoon with your mum or dad?
Take it from there and listen to your instincts. They will tell you what is wrong and what is right. That will make you a better person and a better parent.